Sunday, May 31, 2015
This weekend has caused me to reflect on my life and how I feel about it, so bear with me while I ramble on a bit. I attended a women’s retreat, the 100th anniversary of the CGIT (Canadian Girls in Training), a group which I belonged to in my teen years at my church.
I was physically there at the retreat, meeting people and participating in the activities, yet somehow I did not feel like I was a part of ‘them’. I felt like I was on the peripheral, on the outside looking in, and very much alone in a crowded room.
And lately I feel this same way in a variety of different situations, in groups and activities that were once a major part of my life. I’m not sure why I cannot shake these perceptions, as I’m certain that these thoughts and ideas are in my head only.
I seem to be accepted and welcomed most places. I’m not shy about talking to people or participating as I am able. But that lingering feeling of being alone and disconnected continues to separate me from the rest. And I’m not sure how to change that.