As The Year Winds Down

Typically on this day of the year (December 31st), we look back and reflect on the last twelve months and look forward to the year ahead. We all have our regrets. We remember all the good times and the bad, the people who left us forever and those we wish we had spent more time with. And we resolve to change things in the New Year.

For me, 2015 has been a year full of changes, challenges and crisis (the car accident comes to mind). My pain levels have increased and my mobility has decreased. I've been separated from people and places/events that I used to look forward to. My company, Jasper Moon, is no longer generating the extra income it was and I've been struggling to make ends meet. For the first time ever, I've actually contemplated using the local food bank.

Rudy & Minoux both passed away within 3 months
of each other. I miss them both a lot.

Being a member of the 'working poor' is not a comfortable place to be in and I am forced to do without a lot...new winter boots, haircuts, etc. Many things that I took for granted before are no longer available to me, things that many would classify as essentials. Though I have never been one to covet new clothes or shoes or handbags or fancy household accutrements, I have had to learn to 'make do' with less.

What keeps me going is the knowledge that there are many in the world who are in much worse situations, in war torn countries and refugee camps, their homes destroyed and family members killed, not knowing where their next meal is coming from or if they will even be alive to eat it. I cannot imagine living under those circumstances.

I am so grateful to have a roof over my head and food in my belly. I'm gainfully employed with a steady, though meager, income. I have drug and dental benefits from work which is a major blessing and the national health program covers my basic medical needs. I have a lot to be thankful for and I try to focus on the positive.

What will 2016 bring for me? Brighter days, smiles and giggles, love and friendship...these are a few things that I hope for. A big lottery win would be nice too, or at least a raise on my paycheque. *smile* I have no idea what the future holds for me but maintaining a positive attitude through all that happens will carry me day to day.

In closing, I hope that you and yours have happy & healthy New Year in 2016. I wish you all the best!

Dance A New Dance

I used to love dancing. I used to love going for long walks in the woods. In fact, there are a lot of things that I would still love to do, if I was able.

But I'm not.

My body is failing me; not keeping up to the active mind that I have. And certainly not keeping up with my hopes, dreams and desires; all the things I 'want' to do.

I thought we did not get 'older', but were supposed to get 'better'. That's what the commercial said, right? And what about Freedom 55? What kind of cruel joke was that on a naive and unsuspecting public? *smile*

One thing that I have learned, and finally accepted, is that older is not necessarily better. Older is definitely 'different', and sometimes different can be better. But it is always different than anticipated or imagined.

Frankly, it's not what I expected at all, nor is it how I envisioned my life would be. The dream is not playing out in reality. The movies have it all wrong. People do not always live happily ever after and maybe we're not supposed to.

Those ups and downs help us to learn and grow; expands our horizons; introduces us to new concepts; brings new people into our lives; points us down a different path.

It's time for me to learn to dance a new dance; to find creative ways to add joy to my life; to venture out in a new direction; to share my love with others; to help as I am able.

So, come along and dance a new dance with me. We'll have a blast!

Perfectionism and Me

I struggle against perfectionism tendencies all the time. Lines must be straight and clean. Everything must be symmetrical and balanced. Everything must be 'perfect'.

Yes, in my intellectual mind, I know that there can be balance and beauty in asymmetry too, but I really have to work hard at it. It makes my brain hurt and my hair turn grey.

A friend of mine, who knows about this struggle, challenged me to make an ATC with TORN PAPER only!! I was not allowed to use scissors at all.

Not only that, I had to incorporate both words and flowers on it. Oh my gosh, I was getting edgy just thinking about it. I wasn't sure that I could do it.

But, I decided to give it a try. I used paper from an old magazine that was lying around. I selected the background, ripped the paper, and applied it to a pre-cut ATC chipboard base. Here is the front and back of the ATC.

 

Then, I thought that the background could use a bit of colour. I tore a narrow strip with bright autumn colours and pasted it diagonally near the bottom.

Next, came the vase of flowers and the two words torn from pages of the same magazine.

And I survived the experience! How amazing is that? The world did not fall apart because I ripped paper, instead of cutting it. I'm not sure that I 'like' the end result but I did take the challenge and succeed at it.

I cannot tell you how tempting it was to use a paper trimmer or rotary cutter during this process. After all, they are not 'scissors', right? That did not seem to be in the spirit of the original challenge, however, so I did not use them. *smile*

Home By The Moon ATCs

I watched a video on YouTube last night that has inspired me to create a set of ATCs similar to the ones shown above. The video was originally posted online in May 2015 by createART1. You can check out her YouTube channel here.

Link to Mixed Media - Home By The Moon Video

You don't really see how she created the initial background for her ATCs so I'm just going in my own direction with this. I started with a background experiment on cardstock that was less than successful in my eyes.

I added some black paint, just a bit, and spread it all over the page with a baby wipe. I was not sure that improved it at all, but what the heck, I'm committed now.

In for a penny, in for a pound...I decided to apply antique white paint with a piece of bubble wrap next. Now it is starting to look usable. I'm fairly pleased with the result.

Time to cut it down into ATC size units and adhere them to the pre-cut chipboard bases so I can continue working on them. I ended up with ten ATCs, the nine you see below and one other to practice on.

Time to head to my scrap paper box and start cutting out narrow strips of various sizes for the houses. I'm not going to add the extra layers of torn paper and tissue to the background as she did. I won't be creating the moons the same way either. I'm not really sure what product she was using.

So, here is the prototype/practice 'Home By The Moon' ATC...

I've decided that I definitely want to invest in a REALLY good fine line marker before going much further with the rest of the ATCs. The dollar store one that I used, while inexpensive, was not working well for me. Live and learn, right? 

I will punch the moons out of cardstock, instead of paper too. You can see the background through the paper and I don't like that. I will also make the houses shorter so that more of the background will be visible.

Now comes the fun part...I challenge all of my artistic friends to watch the tutorial and create your own set of three 'Home By The Moon' ATCs. Send me photos of them when you are finished and I will post them on a future blog entry, along with mine. Who wants to join in the fun?

Peggy Sue Got Married

Peggy Sue Got Married is a 1986 comedy-drama film starring Kathleen Turner as a woman on the verge of a divorce, who finds herself transported back to the days of her senior year in high school in 1960. The main question that this movie poses is, "If you could do it all over again, knowing what you know now, would you change anything?" This is a question that I've often asked myself.

Ultimately, Peggy Sue makes the same choices and for the same reasons she did originally. Upon reflection, I'm not sure that I would change much either. Not all of my choices have turned out as well as expected or hoped, but with each unique experience I've learned something new about myself or the world around me. I've become a stronger, more determined person, wiser than before.

The culmination of all those experiences makes me the person I am today; well rounded, tolerant, accepting, generous, kind, etc. Who would I be if I had not been through everything that I have been? I don't know. Do you?

Pondering this makes me grateful for both the good and the bad that has been in my life. And I'm not afraid to face whatever is ahead because I know, good or bad, I will come out on top as a better person.