Saturday, November 2, 2013

Focusing on Life - Week 44

'Whether trick or treating,
celebrating the spirits and souls of loved ones that have passed,
or having a scream from a scare, 
this week take a moment to capture a spirit,
spider or other spectacle of the season.'

I pass by the cemetery every day on my way to work. Never a time do I miss reflecting on the lives of those family members whose final resting place is there.

My father...has it really been 22 years that he's been gone? It's so hard believe. He was the same age that I am now when he passed away. He was taken from us too soon. I never appreciated him enough when he was alive or properly thanked him for all the help he provided me while I was raising two boys on my own. I didn't tell him I loved him as much as I should have. if only I could turn back the hands of time.

My I wish I'd spent more time with them in their declining years. There are so many questions I should have asked, so much wisdom that I could have benefited from. Now, that I am researching our family history, there is a lot of information they could have provided had I taken the time to inquire...had I made it a priority. And in light of my own struggles with osteoarthritis, I can better empathize with the challenges my grandmother faced each day.

My great-grandparents...they were gone many years before I was born. How I would have loved the opportunity to know them. The old family photographs show a loving couple dedicated to each other throughout their lives. They passed away within months of each other, the one left behind not able to go on without the other by their side. The house they lived in, close to the cemetery, is still there. I can only stand back from a distance and gaze upon it. It belongs to someone else now.

On All Hallow's Eve, after the trick or treaters had all gone home, a few candies eaten and my witch costume was hung in the closet, I lit a candle in memory of those special people no longer with us. And I felt gratitude to them for the part they played in making me the person I am today. For without them, I would not be here. Without their hard work and dedication the world would be a different place than it is. The legacy they left behind should not be forgotten.

To see the reflections, thoughts and photos of the other participants, please check out the links below...


  1. what a lovely, lovely post. I think many of us feel the same. there are things I wish I would have asked my grandmother, or even my mother now that she is gone. good for you to document the family history - I'm sure your kids will treasure it in years to come

  2. Wonderful pictures of you family members resting places. I have been thinking of my departed ones...even tried to evoke my grandmother's cooking last night!

  3. My parents died far too early as well. This was a lovely post...

  4. I live in a part of Canada where the celebration of All Souls Day (today, Nov. 2) still commonly takes place. Whether one embraces the theology or no, I think there is much to be gained by those left behind, in reflecting on and celebrating the memories of our dearly departed. I love that terminology... like they are "departing" for a trip and we will see them again :)

    Bonnie, like you, I look back with certain regrets over lost opportunities with my deceased parents. Both Mum and Dad are gone, but though Mum left us over thirty years ago, I still feel her loss the most. As I approach the age at which she died (57), I am increasingly thankful for the wonderful teaching she shared with my sister and I. She gave us such great roots that we have thrived even in her absence.

    Thank you for sharing your memories!

  5. My grandparents were born the same years as your great grandparents (mom's parents) My grandfather died in 1946 but my grandmother died a few months after her 90th birthday in 1973... I do remember her but you never think to ask questions of them when your a teenager! Lovely post!

  6. What a wonderful post Bonnie. Thanx for sharing your ancestors with us. I find genealogy fascinating. I think most of us would like to go back and ask questions. I am spending more time with my Mom now. She is 92 and I don't know how much longer she will be around.

  7. Your post is very moving. Weird about you being the age when your father passed. This is that year for me and I think about it and him often. Agree 100% about wanting to ask questions of these departed souls. A true homage to your family!

  8. Beautiful post. We never feel we had enough time with the people we loved and lost. I'm sure your Dad knew how much you cared and felt good about helping out.

  9. What a lovely post and a reminder to take time with those still living!

  10. If we could only go back in time.......
    Our family likes to visit cemeteries when we travel, which seems creepy but really there are stories to be told there. And because of that I have come to love the idea of searching for our family through various sites.

  11. What a truly lovely post Bonnie. It really spoke to me. My parents have both been gone a very long time - my mother 44 years ago (I was almost 4 years old) and my dad 33 years ago ( I was 15) and when I turned 45 - the age my mom was when she passed away - I thought about her a lot that year. I too wish I had spent more time w/my relatives who have gone on before me, asking things, getting to know them better, and spending more time with them. It's with this acknowledgement that we move forward, honor them and bask in the moments we spend with our loved ones who are still here - enjoying every moment we have. Thank you for such a lovely post and such a wonderful reminder.

  12. What a lovely post...and you're so lucky to still live in the area where your antecedents are buried, so that you can visit.....
    I love old cemeteries as well, love to explore them, they are so peaceful and tell so much.