A Bit of Self-Examination

I thought I’d examine something I mentioned in yesterday’s blog post after a friend brought to my attention that I had never verbalized it before…depression. She asked if I should speak with my doctor about it. I figured it was worth taking a closer look at.

I looked up the definition of clinical depression, and I have highlighted symptoms that may apply to me.

Emotional Symptoms  Feeling sad, empty, hopeless, or numb  Restlessness, irritability, or anxiety  Difficulty concentrating or making decisions  Less interest or participation in activities normally enjoyed  Feelings of guilt or worthlessness  Repeated thoughts of death or suicide

Physical Symptoms  Low energy and feeling tired all the time  Changes in appetite or weight (eating more / less)  Change in sleep pattern (sleeping more / less)  Increased use of drugs or alcohol  Self destructive behavior, loss of control, or uncontrolled rage  May include headaches, aches, pains, digestive problems, dizziness

Depression can often be triggered by very stressful life situations such as:  A move  Divorce  Social isolation  Relationship conflict  The death of a loved one  Financial difficulties / Job loss  Demanding work / Stressful workplace  Health issues, especially a chronic health problem

Most of the highlighted issues stem from chronic health problems…pain, lack of mobility, etc. It has forced social isolation since I’m unable to get out as I used to. It is the reason for the low energy and feeling tired all the time too. I don’t have less interest in activities I used to enjoy but definitely have been participating less at times. So yes, it does make me a little sad but it does not dominate my life. For now, I think medical intervention is not needed but I will keep monitoring myself moving forward. And I'm sure my friend will too.

Things I Should Have Done

There are a lot of things I 'should' have done this month.

• Spend more time at my craft table. • Moved my de-clutter project ahead more. • Wrote some blog posts. • Spend less time watching mindless videos on YouTube. But I did not. Why not, you ask?

I can give you a whole litany of excuses (real or imagined). I could blame the weather, pain levels, lack of time, no motivation, procrastination, depression, etc. And while all that is true to a degree, I feel like I should have tried harder. But I honestly had no desire to 'push' myself on those difficult days and there have been many of those this month. I will have to make more of an effort next month. I know I've said that before and failed. Here's hoping next month is different.

What Did I Find?

Wow, it’s worse than I thought. Turns out there was more than just craft supplies in that box under my coffee table. Actually, there was hardly any craft supplies in that box at all.

Here’s what I found. • A receipt for work done on my car in 2021 • A paystub from the same time period • EMPTY envelopes that I’d received something in years ago • A CAA magazine from 2020 • A binder of Halloween ATCs that I’d been looking for • Scrap papers only good for recycling or shredding • Some Halloween ephemera and stickers • A couple of recipes that I cannot imagine ever making • Instructions for beaded and chainmail necklaces I will never make • A few greeting cards • Old junk mail • Two small stationary sets with pretty papers and matching envelopes • Covid vaccine certificates

It looks like I was trying to 'hide things under the rug'. A pile of stuff on my coffee table that I didn't want to deal with at the time. I must have swept it all into a box and hid it under the table. I HAVE to deal with it now.

There are just a few items from the box that I still have to decide their fate. A lot of the paper went into the recycling bin. The paper with personal information on was shredded. A bunch of stuff went straight to the trash can. The Halloween ephemera, stickers and ATCs were put in the appropriate places. It goes to show me that I should not put off until tomorrow what should be done today or it will come back to haunt me years later.

One Box at a Time

I know that I’ve been talking about my de-cluttering project for quite a while now, but it’s time to get serious about it here. There are boxes everywhere in my house, in the storage room, in closets, under beds, and honestly I don’t remember what is even in most of them.

I’m going to begin with a box under my coffee table. I can’t recall how long it has been there, and would likely be embarrassed to admit how long if I knew. It’s covered in a thick layer of dust so it’s probably safe to say it has been there for some time.

There are craft supplies of some kind in it but no idea specifically what they are. I know that I’m going to have to make some hard choices with what I find. If I haven’t used it up until now, and can’t foresee using it in the near future, it has to go. Period. No matter how pretty it is or who sent it to me, it needs to leave my house.

I wonder what I will find? Maybe some hidden treasure I've forgotten about or maybe just stuff that I could not bear to part with at the time. NOW may be the time. I’ll let you know.

The First Day of Spring?

According to my wall calendar and the people on the radio, today is the first day of spring. You sure could have fooled me!

The temperature was below freezing this morning and I encountered a combination of snow, ice pellets AND freezing rain on my way to work today. Seriously, this is ridiculous!

I’m convinced that MOTHER Nature went on vacation to a warm tropical climate and left FATHER Nature in charge. And he has let the kids run wild while she is away. It’s the most logical explanation I can come up with.